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Possessiveness in children. How should parents react?

Possessiveness in children. How should parents react?

Young children are extremely possessive with their things and, although it is a difficult stage for parents, it is still a normal one in the development of the child.

The child's reactions seem exaggerated to the parent and give the feeling that the child would never want to share anything with other children, but this aspect can be educated if treated with patience.

Possibility in children not only manifests itself in the case of toys or candy, but also on family members, parents, brothers, sisters or grandparents. At the same time, the little ones will take the toy from the hand of another child if they find it interesting, creating at the playground a real war that is difficult for the parents to solve.

But we must remember that this is only a period, a stage of its development, absolutely normal and through which all children go. Many parents blame themselves for this behavior of the little ones, considering that spoilage is the cause for the child's egocentrism.

In reality, however, all the little ones go through this stage, and all the parents can do is to make sure that this type of behavior will not be prolonged and the child will not become a selfish edul and to consider that everything is right for him.

In order for parents to properly handle the possessiveness of the child, they must understand how a 2-3 year old child thinks. For the little boy, what he has in his hand is his, and once he is taken from his hand he has no assurance that he will ever get back. Whenever another child takes the toy, he considers it lost, does not know and does not understand that it will be returned soon.

He doesn't understand that a car can be his own as long as someone else plays with it. Children cannot learn to share their things with other children until they develop cognitively so that they understand what this "loan" means. Usually the little ones will understand these things around the age of 3-4 years

How parents should react

We present three scenarios in which you will have to solve a problem that is related to the possessiveness of your little one and three appropriate reactions in their case.

1. A two-year-old child plays in the sand pit in the park with a shovel. Your little one sees him, looks at him and winks. The child from the sand pit squeezes the shovel in his hand, a sign that he is not going to share it with anyone. However, your boyfriend is trying to take the shovel, grab it from the child's hand and pull it. There is a real war in which each of them holds one end of the shovel and screams from all the rarities. One of them will win this fight, however, and the other will start crying.

It is a situation where many parents have surely found themselves and they have solved it by taking the lopatica and offering it to the crying child. It is a first instinct to calm the crying child, but then we will deal with another round of tears from the other child. The best solution is to calmly explain to the rightful owner of the toy that another child wants to play with it. By snatching the toy from his hand, you actually convey that it is okay to take whatever you want, without any consideration for those around you.

If you explain that the toy will return to him, the child may voluntarily give up the toy to give it to the friend at the playground. There is, at the same time, the possibility that he will not want to give up on it even if you give him these explanations, in which case he will have to explain to the child who wants him to come his turn soon. If he understands this, it is time to distract him with another toy, he will soon forget about the lopatica if he is worried about something else.

2. Another scenario in which the child shows his possessiveness is that in which you hold another child in his arms. Even if it is a child you know, it may even be his cousin, the little boy will make a small scene in which he will pull your hand or clothes and repeat "my mother!"

In this case, you will have to leave the child in your arms and pay little attention to your little one. You have to deal with this situation calmly and understand that he will believe that he will no longer have your affection and that he has been replaced. The behavior seems extremely exaggerated, but parents should look at these reactions as evidence of a healthy and normal attachment to their parents. Once he understands that he is not deprived of your attention even if you have another child in his arms, he will no longer have this kind of reaction and will begin to accept other children around you, because that does not mean that he will no longer be. she had part of it.

3. You are at a playground, the little one is surrounded by other children and at one point he comes to you to give you one of his toys as long as he does not use it. It is proof that he does not want any other child to play with it, even if he does not use it himself.

Even if you realize that he has selfish behavior, maybe you should look at things from his point of view as well. You certainly have at home a favorite necklace that you would not loan to any friend. If he has a favorite toy and he doesn't want anyone to play with it, you should understand his need to protect his favorite thing. If you do this with only a few of his toys, you shouldn't worry.

He does not force him to share that toy, as long as he borrows other things, he is clear that he understands the principle, but he protects a certain object, which he particularly likes. If he does so with all of his toys, explain what it means to borrow and set an example of a situation where another child has let him play with a toy of his own. The basic word in dealing with possessiveness in children is patience, because you will have to explain them countless times.

Is your child possessive? How do you do it when your little boy doesn't want to share his toys with other children? Write us in the comment section below!